Friday 10 October 2008

I'm Only Not Sleeping.

The horrible thing about taking public transport for me these days is having to witness the amount of fucking bastards who haven't had their iPods stolen. I hate those smug iPod still-having pricks. Yesterday, I sat behind a man who played very loud bhangra music on his as yet nickedless iPod and I wanted to punch his face in for it. Bhangra music is awful, fucking, fucking awful. And every song is the same song and every song is fucking, fucking awful. Jangly music while a woman with one of those swimming clip things on her nose screams her face off, I get it! Some cunt could be listening to bhangra or classical music or fucking Keane on my iPod right now. I hope whoever nicked it can't ever update it and has to listen to my entire Marillion collection FOREVER. That'll make the cheeky little chappie think again about a life of crime.

I arrived in Liverpool about 6 and started drinking with my good friend Ali from the excellent band 28 Costumes (you can hear all their stuff on iTunes or, if you've nicked my iPod, my iPod). Only a few drinks, mind, because I'm a professional and I was working at Comedy Central @ Baby Blue later. That said, I was compering so I didn't feel the pressure to be THAT sober so I had a nice warm little buzz which turned to a nauceous funk when I found out I was actually doing a set instead. There wasn't that many people at the gig and they all seemed a bit cold at the beginning.but compere Dan Willis lept to the challenge and called them all sad, told someone that they had Leukemia and said the words McCann and Madeleine (not in that order) all in the first two minutes. A relaxing atmosphere was cemented (then smashed to fuckery) when the drunk fucker who can't shut up made herself known. Luckily, by the time I went on she had fallen home. The gig was actually pretty good with a lot of the small audience making the room sound pretty full, especially the front row who were a full on comedy crowd just on their own. I always wimp out a bit at this gig for some reason. Last night I did stuff I've always done here and only two new bits but hopefully tonight I won't be so cowardly even though I probably will. Killian Monsoon was good though.

Ali and I then went to a couple of bars where children go to drink, by the looks of things. I love drinking in Liverpool because it's all like one big student bar. You spend hardly any money and you still get drunk. No wonder it's European Capital of Culture. Well done, la's! The big highlight for me last night was meeting Will Sergeant from Echo and The Bunnymen. I nearly got my photo taken with him! Except my phone ran out of battery and, instead of looking like a keen fan, I came across like a cack-handed weirdo who couldn't stop apologising. Very smooth. Then I went to bed about 1 to catch up on a lot of much needed sleep.

I woke up at 5am. Wide awake. Jet lag is a prick and if anyone has some advice on beating it I'd be very grateful. At 5am I listened to the whole of the latest Collings and Herrin podcast, watched two episodes of The Krotons, deleted lots of stuff from my iTunes in preperation of my new iPod Touch that I hope someone will buy for me (I deleted all the Beatles albums but kept Britney Spears' Toxic) and listened to three Bruce Springsteen albums while playing Uno on my phone. That's the life of the insomniac travelling comedian. In your face, Motley Crue!

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