Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Don't Play Your Music On A Train, Cuntface

I've just been on a National Express coach on my way back from Margate. It was raining the whole way and the traffic was shit as soon as we got near London. Then this fucking awful cunt says to the driver "Why do they call it rush hour when..." That's all I heard because the rage in my head gave me tinnitus.

The trip down to Margate on the train yesterday was just as bad because the train became swarmed with schoolkids and Jerk was freaking out at the sheer number of them. That said, as much as Jerk hated them, I found them all very entertaining. The boys nearest me started telling each other dog stories such as "A man who lived near where we used to live didn't ask another man if he could pet his dog but he just petted it anyway and the dog bit his whole head off". Every story was just pretty horrible but my favourite one was a dog in the Guinness Book of World Records that was shot in the head but an hour later he woke up wagging his tail. I'm not sure what category of World Record that would be under. Least dead dog?

Like every train journey, there was once again a varied selection of cunts determined to ruin everyone's travelling experience. Mainly, the cunts who play music really loudly on their mobiles. I got very fed up and went over to two seperate people and asked them to switch the music off. One complained, one apologised. That I don't mind quite as much as every other fucker on the train just sitting there letting these little pricks play music and pretending it's not actually happening. They're only kids, we can easily beat the fuck out of them. What is wrong with you people? And, the thing is, maybe I wouldn't mind half as much if any of these fuck-knuckles actually played decent music out of their little tin-can. I've never once got on a train and saw a bunch of hoodies kicking back old-skool to The Queen is Dead or Pet Sounds. It's ALWAYS shit. Mainly that infuriating record-company wank-fest that is I Kissed A Girl by that one fucking moronic whore. It's fucking everywhere. Fuck off! Speaking of morons, I know she was only about six but I saw this little girl yesterday pointing at Jerk. She turned to her mum and said "What's that?" Her mum had to explain to her what a dog was, the thick, fucking, six year old prick.

I got to Margate and had a very nice evening with my friends Karen and Bec. They're the loveliest, most hospitable people you could meet. They adore Jerk and Jerk loves them and their four other dogs. It's a horrible piece of cruelty to come back and take her away from all of that. But I've always had a penchent for cruelty so that's that. Speaking of cruelty, tonight I plan to watch a documentary about Colin Baker getting sacked from Doctor Who. Jealous?

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