Monday, 29 September 2008

All Lovely.

Isn't the weather lovely? It's been a treat walking round the local park with Jerk the last few days. She runs and plays in the river while I walk around pretending that walking is exercise. Even the normal park wankers aren't getting on my nerves quite as much thanks to the sunshine. Yesterday, I saw a wanker playing golf. No matter where you play golf you'll always be a wanker but I think you come across as an especially contemptable tool if you play golf in a public park. I'm as into hitting kids with hard, fast-moving objects as the next man but I still think that that shows a particular sort of thoughtless arrogance. I also watched a "gang" of "hoodies" play basketball with a tennis ball. It was probably the most awkward, fumblingly pathetic thing I've ever seen and as a result couldn't keep my eyes of it until one of the young gentleman asked me what my problem was? I didn't think he looked like much of an expert in anything and therefore his advice would be minimal so I left without replying. Quite quickly.

Then I went to the wedding of Nick and Maxine Wilty. It's lovely in this modern time that Maxine is still romantic enough to want to take her husband's stage name as her own. It was a fantastically fun day and I got drunk enough to know I was very drunk without turning very, very drunk. The ceremony was very nice with everyone cheering as the happy couple stood together at the altar. I was sure someone was going to shout out something incredibly innappropriate at anytime but it didn't happen and I wasn't confident enough to do it myself. Instead I giggled through singing Morning Has Broken and Jerusalem. If my Mother knew that I was singing Jerusalem she'd die on the spot and then very quickly turn over in her grave. Then, someone who could actually sing sang a very lovely, haunting version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, a song about having your heart broken. A bit out of place but then I once went to a wedding where a harpist played the theme to Love Story and people around me gave me a dirty look when I pointed out that "She dies in the end of that", so it wasn't that odd. I don't know who sang Hallelujah but she was very good indeed and Mick Ferry pointing out that the song was used in Shrek only added to the poignancy of the moment.

Then we went to the pub. Then we went to the reception. I'll be honest with you, that's where I got drunk. At the reception. It was such a great do because everyone that I knew there I liked, how often can you say that about a room full of comedians? It was fun seeing people I hadn't seen for a few years, it was fun seeing the bitchy side of goody-fucking-twoshoes, eternal fucking nice guy Stuart Goldsmith come out finally and it was fun seeing Alastair Barrie asking people if they thought he was racist. I've never had to ask anyone that question before. Am I overweight? Am I starting to look older? Am I any use in bed? These are all questions that I've had to ask other people but never am I racist.?Have more confidence in yourself, Al. Of course, you're racist and a damn good one, too. After some speeches and more raising glasses to the happy couple we were treated to some music. Glenn Tilbrook got his guitar out and sang a few of his excellent and legendary songs while standing on chairs that were moved around constantly so he could basically walk around the room serenading us while being much taller than everyone else. The booze got the better of me though and I wimped out before I got so drunk that it was only mildly embarrassing and not totally embarrassing. I got a lift home from my friend's Rob and Linda who I never see much these days and will make a huge effort to see more of from now on. They're both lovely and pregnant.

My last couple of blogs have been a bit positive and nice and a couple of people have even pointed this out to me. Unfortunately, I'm visting friends today so tomorrow's one is probably going to be all lovely too. I was supposed to be at another comedian's drinks do tonight (one that I organised) but I've had to cancel. Shame, I'm sure I could have got some bitchy stories from that. Rest assured that this great weather and my happiness is very temporary. Ta ta!

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