Friday, 26 September 2008

Why Don’t You Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead?

I'm so bored of being ill now that I'm totally pretending that I'm fine. That normally gets rid of it. Just ignore it. That's the ticket. I did NOTHING yesterday. Well, I did a bit of writing but who cares about that? Basically, all I did was blow my nose, gob in the sink and watch TV. Two days of TV in a row isn't good for my well being. It reminds me why I like going out so much plus it makes me want to boot-fuck everyone who's ever been born ever. Plus two days without booze. Has anyone gone that long before? I doubt it.

I wrote a bit for the upcoming Real Daniel O'Donnell Show which is my favourite thing to do as we're all in charge of the show ourselves so nothing that we want to do gets rejected (unlike mine and Bennett Arron's script did by Children's BBC this week, "too mature" my ballbag). So that was fun. And that's pretty much when the fun ended because I went fucking insane and watched Sex In The City: The Movie. It was my own fault because the cover of the DVD came with a very clear warning; "'A classic' - Edith Bowman". For those who don't know, Edith Bowman is an awful bag of unneccesary excitement who says the words "A classic" everytime she points at something. So the blame lies squarely with me. The whole film is like watching the last three minutes of Father Of The Bride II over and over and over again. It's just screaming and cocktails. I get enough of that at home.

By the way, I watched EVERYTHING last night. Sex In The City, 3 episodes of Family Guy, Mock The Week (which was a compilation of clips not good enough to be shown in the series, that should give you an idea of the quality), Have I Got News For You (ALWAYS watch this after Mock The Week), 8 Out of 10 Cats (Doug Stanhope came across as really, really lovely), Secret Diary of a Callgirl (no, I didn't, but I was on standby just in case), No Heroics (Christ Alfuckingmighty), When Women Rule The World (it's great! It's a reality show based on women being in charge and telling men to do stuff that they can't actually do themselves. How producers Rebecca Eisen and Nicole Streak came up with that is a wonder), Arc of Infinity and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (still the worst Indy movie but fun).

That's too much TV. I'm really looking forward to gigs tonight not just because I'm playing two of my favourites but because it would be nice to see other humans. I mean, it won't but it's how I feel right now. It's sunny! Let's go out!

Doctor Who references: 1. Cunts: 0. The Doctor finally wins!

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