Monday, 24 August 2009

Sleep Well Tonight.

OK, Edinburgh is winning now. I tried to beat it but it has beaten me too much. I have drunk alcohol every night since the 4th August, stayed up to drunk o'clock and eaten badly. This needs to change. I'm starting to shake through lack of sleep and everything I see gets on my nerves. Mainly flyers.

I was DOA at Peter Buckley Hill and Some Comedians last night. I mainly waffled some crap about how I hated the audience because they were keeping me in Edinburgh when all I wanted was to be in my own bed in London. Oh, they laughed. The fuckers. But before I went on I was pacing everywhere just to keep awake. I looked like a bear in a zoo enclosure that was way too small. Just walking up and down, up and down and generally losing my mind. The back of the room at the venue has flyers scattered everywhere and occassionally my mind would focus on one and I'd get furious. For no fucking reason. I saw one for a show called Wanchorman and nearly lost all sense. Apparently it's quite good but you couldn't have told me that last night. Then I got pointlessly furious about something called Jimmy Frinton's Barmy Bingo. I think it's fair enough to get pointlessly furious about Jimmy Frinton's Barmy Bingo though. It boasts this: "A madcap hour featuring the ever popular B*stard Bingo". For the love of God. Then I saw Papa CJ's flyer for his show "Self-loathing Racist" mean, "Slumdog Comedian". It has a great press quote on it. "Papa CJ set fire to the city" - Asian Age. What a cunt. These fucking people came out to see you, Papa, and you commit arson. For fuck's sake, that is just so irresponsible and the fact that he's so proud of burning an entire city to the ground sickens me. All the people wanted was an hour of funny stuff about all people from India working in call centres and he had to make the poor fuckers homeless? He should be shot.

See? I'm tired. After PBH's gig I went to see Robin Ince's absolutely fantastic Bleeding Heart Liberal show. I've said it before but Robin really is incredible. Hard working, intelligent and very, very funny. Why someone wouldn't go to at least one of his four Edinburgh shows is a mystery to me. They're probably cunts. Mystery solved. Then it was off to Karaoke Circus, which should NOT be fun at all but definitely is. Fucking drunk comedians being self-indulgent and smug? I get enough of that at King of Everything but Karaoke Circus is a hoot. It's Martin White and Danielle Ward's baby (Awww, that would be nice. I'd love them to have a baby. I hope they fuck just for me) and their band plays music while comedians and the occasional human take turns to sing. My favourite bit was seeing Richard Herring laughing at Andrew Collins "singing" Love Cats and then getting up to sing This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us to prove that he was even worse. I couldn't do it because I'm saving my voice for my show and I am shit.

It was another late one. Got back to the flat about 6. Can't do that again tonight. In fact, I'm off to sleep RIGHT NOW because I need to be well rested for tonight's midnight screening of Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door with Nicholas Parsons Q&A at The GRV, Guthrie Street, Edinburgh. Please come along. It's very near sold out so book your ticket right away. Thanks!

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