Why I?

I spent an hour drinking tea in Times Square yesterday just watching people come and go. I love New York. It's an incredible, vibrant, scary, exciting, buzzing metropolis and people watching there can entertain you for hours. Sadly, I was in Times Square in Newcastle which looks like it was designed by an Etch-A-Sketch and decorated by a Tellytubby bomb.

Not that I have anything against Newcastle, far from it. They've got a Sci-Fi Charity Shop, for fuck's sake. How bad can a place be when it's got one of those? Something a bit weird always happens in Newcastle. You just have to wait for it. I was in Forbidden Planet yesterday when I saw a man collapse in a diabetic seizure. Well, I heard him crash to the ground anyway. He lay on his back with his arms raised and shaking while his body convulsed and his mouth foamed. It was a really disturbing thing to see. What was almost as shocking was not the one member of staff who quickly phoned an ambulance but the other members of staff who just stood there staring at him. It was probably the most Sci-Fi thing they'd ever actually seen in their lives and no amount of comic books had prepared them to deal with it. It was real life, that has NOTHING to do with them. Eventually, someone put two Watchmen sweatshirts under the guy's head to support it. I can't help but think he would have liked that. He was fine, by the way, though that must be horrible to live with. If you're a diabetic sufferer then please go and have some sugar. Or have less sugar. I don't know. Might have to check Wikipedia rather than my blog.

Later, too much happened in one go for me. It was actually too much for my brain to take in all at once. I got flirted at by a 6' 5" Thai waiter with a strong Geordie accent. He kept touching me and he was too tall and he looked exotic but he had that voice and he was a man and...I had to have a lie down. Alone.

The gig last night was great, as was the company. Probably because that cunt Mohammed wasn't there.

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