Sunday, 4 January 2009


Well, it wasn't Johnny. A shame really because I think he would have brought something original to the role plus he might be able to introduce me to Nicola Bryant or Matthew Waterhouse or, at the very least, steal Kameleon from the props room for me. Sadly, Johnny was pipped at the post by Matt Smith, a 26-year old who hasn't even played Jongleurs Bow yet. He's been in a few plays and some TV dramas but nothing quite as high-profile as Doctor Who before. He was probably in The Curse of Steptoe, you know, something like that. To be honest, I'm not offically his biographer but come 2010 I'll probably feel like I am. Last night's Doctor Who Confidential was just amazing. Just as exciting as a lot of the actual Who episodes and better than a lot of them. David Tennant looked so genuine when he talked about how jealous he is of what Matt Smith is about to experience, in fact he looked really pissed off about it. Hearing about a new Doctor is a very exciting time, I remember going mental when I heard that Jon Pertwee was being replaced and immediately hated Tom Baker. I feel I've been robbed of that feeling this time because Matt looks right. Already I can see him playing the part. He looks gothic and dashing and creepy and funny. Lots of people talk with their hands (not just the deaf) but he seems to talk with his fingers like he's playing Air Piano all the time. That's good. That means he's mad. Mad is good in Doctor Who. I'm sure not everyone will be happy with the casting (I know racists now have one thing less to complain about so they must be furious) but I've very excited to see how he turns out. Only four more Tennant episodes left and, you know, one or two of them might be good. Then it's Matt's turn. Then Johnny's. God, I LOVE Doctor Who.

I did my first gig of 2009 last night at Battersea's Jongleurs. After only two weeks of no gigs I was surprised to feel quite as rusty as I was. Maybe I'm always rusty? Anyway, I liked it. An odd audience but they gave me plenty of room to muck about and even a table of hecklers that pretty much refused to shut up turned out to be fun. Plus I was rude. Just plain rude to a lot of people who had paid money to be entertained. They didn't seem to mind and I certainly felt it a pleasure, not a chore, to insult them as much as I could. It just seemed like quite a relaxed gig and when I'm relaxed I'm just a lot better. So, if you ever see me at a gig and I'm rude to you and hurling a tirade of personal abuse it's only because you've done a great job at putting me at my ease. Well done, you stupid cunt.

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