There is a lot to be worried about in the world at the moment. The global economy is spiralling out of control, thousands of jobs are being lost every week and there is constant horrible news of continued insane attack on Gaza by the Israeli troops, or as Frankie Boyle, Steve Hughes and countless other deep thinking, edgy, political comedians call them; The Jews. Is it really the Jews? Somehow I just don’t see Billy Crystal and David Schimmer pointing a gun at anything that isn’t their own head and if Israel really wanted Barbara Streisand it would cost them half their military budget. It’s not worth it, I reckon. Plus, as Johnny Candon said, I don’t think Hannah Chambers would let Josh Howie go at the moment, he’s got Edinburgh this year. It’s a depressing world but there is a small glimmer of hope and that glimmer is, of course, Celebrity Big Brother. You might remember the much talked about race row that sparked last time from Jade Goody’s remarks about everyone in the world being a fat golliwog or something, well this year the noble and caring folk at Channel 4 are taking major steps to ensure that racism does not raise its ugly head in 2009. Yeah, sure, it’s still mainly white people in there but Channel 4 now have a 10 minute delay on the live feed so if anyone says something racist then they can be edited out. It’s OK to be racist as long as we never know about it. After all, if Frankie Boyle shouts “JEW” in a forest and there’s no-one there, does he have a point? Of course he doesn’t. So Channel 4 have cured racism in the world but thank God that they still deem it OK to dress up a dwarf as a knotted pube and force him to sing with Ulrika Jonnsson while a forgotten ghost from A-1, an unemployed whore from SugaRbabes and the main dick from Coolio watch and laugh. Fuck racism, let’s make fun of the disabled. It’s the new black.
Just a very quick one today. Not much happening really. Yesterday had its ups and downs. The up was seeing Karen Bridges, my flat mate 10 years ago, turned up at last night’s Aldershot gig. There was hardly anyone there and I was trying out new material so no doubt Karen is hugely impressed by how far I’ve got in the last 10 years. The down was hearing that my friend Elfie, an Austrian woman in her late 70’s, died on the 2nd January. Elfie was utterly fantastic. Constantly kind and sweet and hilarious when it came to vegetarianism, a concept she just couldn’t fathom. She would offer me ham and when I said I couldn’t eat it she said she totally understood, that’s why she’s only giving me a little bit. I loved staying with her, her mum and her husband, Hermann, a few years ago in Hartsburg. We had some great times drinking in the mountains and finding my inability to ski less and less funny. Hermann and I spent two full days together practically on our own which was odd as he can’t speak English and learning a second language has never crossed my mind, obviously. It’s amazing how well we communicated. Pointing rocks! So, very sad news, but Elfie had a great life with her fantastic fun and welcoming family. The Christmas card she sent this year seems all the more sweet, charming and sad now.
I’m going to spend the day writing things for the me and Johnny show. We’ll be doing previews from February. Will you come along?
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