Sunday, 11 January 2009

Do Not Pass Go.

I've deleted Monopoly from my phone. I must play it two or three times a day. Monopoly! Probably the most dull game in the world. Certainly the dullest game to play on your own. I don't learn anything from it, it doesn't test my brain plus, by playing it alone against the phone, I'm only doing it so I can win and nothing else. Plus there is such an obvious way to set it up so that I beat the phone every single time. It's still not the most pointless way that I've wasted my time and that thought is so depressing that it had to go. I deleted it. I'm now completely free of the tyranny of Monopoly. That means I'll now do all the work I swore I was going to do without the ridiculous distraction of a game I don't even like. Definitely. My Edinburgh shows are practically written, despite the fact I have barely written a word, thanks to getting rid of that monopoly monkey on my back. I've still got Wii Fit though to take up some of my time. I didn't use it on friday and when I switched it on yesterday it reminded me that I should have been Wii Fitting the previous day then asked if I'd been busy. What mad fucker thought that passive aggression would be a good factor in a video game? All I'm saying is, Wii Fit, be aware of what I did to Monopoly. Yeah, I'll play you three times a day for six months then delete you out of embarrassment. That'll be a lesson for you.

2009 is proving to be as awful as 2008 already. First Elfie, now I've found out that my Great Uncle Charles died yesterday morning at the age of 101. To be fair, in a way it's not as bad as 2008. The deaths and illnesses of last year happened to people far too young. Both Elfie and Charles had lived great, full lives and, although Elfie had been in some pain, Charles died peacefully in his sleep. I think living to 101 and dying in my sleep sounds really OK to me. Great Uncle Charles was a very funny man indeed who seemed to have an incredible amount of energy about him. I didn't see that much of him these last 10 years and that's a shame because he became a bit of a legend in my home town. Firstly, a few years ago, when he became the poster child for Northern Ireland's Department of Education because he'd enrolled in a PC training class (not bad for someone in their mid-90's). Secondly, because about 10 years ago he went on holiday to South Africa ON HIS OWN and came back with a 40 year old woman who had just left her husband for him. I'd certainly like to think that when I'm in my 90's I can still go off to far away, hot countries and fuck up someone's marriage. Charles also lived in London for a very long time so I've always liked him for that. Now, 2009, if it's not too much trouble, can we have some good news, please?

I'm a bit worried that I might be enjoying Celebrity Big Brother. I find watching Ulrika Jonnsson crying particularly entertaining. Is that so wrong? I missed it last night so maybe that's my new interest in it broken now. I hope so. I've just got rid of Monopoly, I don't need another crap addiction. Still hasn't Lucy Pinder got good teeth?

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