KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!

Another great human being is taken from us this January or, as I like to call it, Death Month 2000! Poor Khan. He didn’t really mean any harm to anyone except Chekov’s ear and Kirk. But that’s OK. Kirk is a bellend. I don’t know how Khan died (a fuck-up with the Genesis Device?) but I do know that I love him. I felt nothing when Princess Diana died but now I feel utterly compelled to go to Ceti Alpha V and lay a little teddy bear on the ground. It’s what Princess Diana and Khan would have wanted. That and the death of Hadmirahl Kirk and Rio by Duran Duran. I came home pretty drunk last night and, in a noble tribute to Khan, put on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. I fell asleep after Chekov said “Bot on Ebay” the first time so it wasn’t a great tribute to this once great fictional character from spaces. Patrick McGoohan also died but he can suck the one I’m growing because he isn’t Khan.

And that’s why I don’t write for The Guardian’s Obituaries. There would be more but there’s just been an emergency in the house. See you tomorrow I hope.