Thursday, 12 March 2009


This is a complete sketch. This it IT. It hasn’t been edited down. This isn’t a clip of the sketch. It’s the full sketch. The beginning, middle and end. This is actually how they wanted it to be. The real nightmare thing about it is that it’s the best thing that they’ve done. Fucking hell.

Apart from the confirmed news that this shit smells sweet enough to the BBC that they’ve given more of our licence fee to them to make a second series, do you know what the real tragedy of Horne & Corden is? It’s directed by Kathy Burke. It’s like discovering that Christopher Eccleston had directed The Man from Auntie. I feel sick.

I’m back from Margate now. All that sea air, beach walking and healthy living is knackering. I’m sure I’ve done myself a right mischief and no mistake. It was a lovely couple of days though, the peak being dinner on the last night. We went to a place called Indian Princess (type Indian Princess Margate into Yahoo!, the Did You Mean…? made me giggle). It’s an Indian restaurant. It’s very modern and trendy and really pretty upmarket. In fact, it’s so incredibly NOW that it barely has anything for vegetarians apart from rice and plates. Don’t let that put you off (especially if you’re not a vegetarian) because the dessert is the best thing I’ve eaten in years. Maybe even longer. I’m not into desserts. I like school dinner desserts like Boring Sponge & Flavourless Custard but that’s about it. The Indian Princess changed my mind about everything. I had a chocolate samosa. Sounds revolting but it works. It was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone had bought me expensive presents and it was an orgy and James Corden’s parents had never been born. It was that good.

Sounds revolting but it works, pt II: Johnny and I will be performing our second attempt at King of Everything this Sunday at Hen & Chickens, Islington at 9.30. Tickets are only £5 and it doesn’t last too long (only about 45 minutes) so there’s still time to drink all your brain cells away afterwards. Call 020 7704 2001 for tickets right now this very second. Please come along. It was fun last Sunday and there will be more stuff in it this time. Remember: if you DON’T come then Horne & Corden have WON. Is that what you want for your children?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Co-incidence? I think not!

There I was, writing about the subject of blogs & twitters & facefukkers, and why anyone who actually HAD a fukking life would spend any of their time writing about their boring, hate-filled, I-was-abused-so-now-it's-your-fukkin-turn, let-me-be-noticed, plethora of pish ... when a link on the Scottish Comedy Forum led me to this very blog

Being totally devoid of interest in Chortle in general, and the comedy "scene" in particular, I had no prior knowledge of the award-winning popularity of your writings, Michael

I read through the entries merely because they grabbed my attention in their ball-busting display of invective, and downright cuntedness

I was entranced

I was entertained

I was mightily impressed

You are a sad, mad bastard whose railings against an uncaring world are truly inspired, and should you ever reach economic success or artistic recognition, your writing will, I'm sure, be all the worse for it

Stay poor & unrewarded ... and die lonely in a wind-strewn garret ... and your writings will achieve the greatness of posterity

Fukkin loved it, ma man!!