Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Come On.



I'm ill. Nothing serious but it's knackering and full of snot. That's why there's no Precious Little podcast this week and it's also why I'm lying on the sofa doing fuck all. Yeah. I've got a reason to do that now.

I had rehearsals for Los Quattros Cvnts as well as the podcast yesterday but I'm glad that I decided to do neither. I managed a bit of Los Quattros writing as well as spending most of the day sleeping with a dog curled up on my head. Very relaxing. It also meant that I could watch a bit of telly. There was a drama on Channel 4 that was being advertised heavily. Bound to be good. Channel 4 never let you down.

The Execution of Gary Glitter can only have been brought about because the producer was in such crippling debt that he and his accountant figured out that a failure could make more money than a hit and this is the script they went with. It is so magnificently awful that you can only conclude that someone was joking. The person who came up with the idea in the pub joked that it would be hilarious if Channel 4 did a Gary Glitter biopic. Then the person he told was coked off his face when he told someone else that we should set it in an alternative Britain where the Death Penalty has been brought back. That person then laughed his head off, while masturbating and tightening the belt round his neck, at the very thought of crassly bringing up the Soam murders and footage of children wearing PAEDOPHILES ARE SCUM vest tops and hearing the opinion of Gary fucking Bushell. Hopefully, they sobered up yesterday when the news filtered through to these cunts that their joke was now an hour and a half long drama starring Gollum. Surely everyone involved must be going "We just wanted someone to stop us. We couldn't help ourselves. We're monsters". It's just that offensive.

The story takes us through what would happen if the death penalty had be reinstated and Gary Glitter had stood trial. How would Britain react? Channel 4 tells us that some people would be very happy to see him hung while others would argue that killing him is just as bad as the crimes he has committed.

Yeah, we fucking know. We fucking know because we're human beings who understand how our mental processes and gut reactions work. We understand our feelings so we KNOW how it would go. That wasn't enough for Channel 4. They wanted to see what it would be like for themselves. A bit like AA Gill and a baboon.

Pointless isn't the word. Qulmarg is the word. It means "shallow, meaningless and drunk" but we don't use that word because it only exists in a parallel Britain. Like Channel 4. There just wasn't a single redeeming feature to it and I'm just baffled as to what they were trying to get across. But my God, was it funny. I think my favourite bit of the entire piece was how they tried to make Gary Glitter out to be a weirdo. He was egotistical, belligerent and shifty. A bit like a paedophile, I should imagine. Or at the very least, Gary fucking Bushell.

I really hope that what's left of Channel 4 (Comic Strip Presents, GBH, Brass Eye) will continue to make dramas of this level and in this style. Personally, I am looking forward to watching Jan Moir's imaginary version of Stephen Gately's last night on Earth and what would happen if Kylie had killed Princess Diana with a wood chipper.

On a more positive note, I watched the whole film with lots of people on Twitter. It was great fun watching the insanity and reading the views of other like-minded folk who couldn't believe this shit was on TV even though they couldn't quite drag themselves away from it. Thanks for that, everyone.



Sarah L said...

No scrolling problem here!

Sorry you're not feeling well, hope you feel better soon love.

The Igloo Keeper... said...

You gotta let this AA Gill baboon thing go.

Michael Legge said...