I thought I was actually going to be able to beat the Girl in a wheelchair story yesterday as I stood at Kings Cross train station watching a blind woman loudly dumping her boyfriend. It was a pretty unusual sight. She stood there with a very deadpan looking dog beside her shouting "You're fucking useless, you are. If I ask you to do something you just can't do it. If I want something done then I have to do it myself. I've had enough. I want you out. Out!" at her very sad looking boyfriend.
I was in a hurry otherwise I would have watched it for a bit longer or at least written "Just walk away" on a piece of paper and passed it to him.
No time for that though, I was on my way to Hitchin to record Precious Little podcast 9 or 10. I'm not sure what number it is as I'm not sure that I count last week's pathetic Skype attempt as an actual podcast. I really enjoyed 9 or 10 though. In fact, I was brought to uncontrollable laughter because of a listener's letter telling us about his band. Laughter that lasted a long time but the listener had the last laugh for sure. James read out the letter and I asked him what the name of the guy's band was. It was a rock band. If you're in a rock band you need a cool name. I mean, there's nothing really cooler than being in a rock band so it stands to reason that the band name should reflect that.
The band was called Stackridge.
I still don't really know why I found that quite as funny as I did but I completely lost it for about a minute. I think it might be the worst name for a band that I have ever heard. That in itself is quite an achievement.
But then James and I looked up stackridge.net and it turns out that the band have been going since the 70's and have a huge following. They are famous and, like the £2 coin, I have never heard of them. Not only that, they're good.
Well, that shut me up. I'm now the proud owner of two Stackridge albums. I went on iTunes and bought Stackridge (1971) and A Victory For Common Sense (2009) and am thoroughly enjoying both albums. Thanks very much to Fatty Fudge for bringing them to my attention and apologies for laughing at how stupid your band's name is.
After the podcast (which features the phrase Bum Pussy quite heavily), I was off to Streatham for Los Quattros Cvnts rehearsals. Not sure quite what we rehearsed but it all seems to be pretty together now. Or as together as it'll ever be. I'm really looking forward to these two shows and urge you to come along. They'll be fun. Obviously, rehearsals took a break for Doctor Who. My God that started badly. "Gadget Gadget"? Fuck off. Not that I'm complaining because the second half really made up for it. Very little family entertainment shows end in suicide. Well done.
A weird thing happened to me on Saturday night. I was booked at the Monkey Business Comedy Club at O'Reilly's in Kentish Town. I went along slightly dreading it because I used to drink in O'Reilly's about 10 years ago and it was a violent hole of a place. When I got there I saw no trace of a comedy club. There is no comedy club here anymore. Brilliant.
I contacted my agent who told me the gig was at Red, a bar further up Kentish Town Road. I walked to the gig and when I got there it looked....well....closed. It was closed. The comedy club only opens on a Thursday night. Brilliant.
Called my agent again and was told that the REAL address of the gig I'm doing is at The Steele, another bar I used to drink in, in Belzise Park. I jumped in a cab and sped my way to the gig. It WAS the right venue. BUT....the promoter had booked about six acts too many. I took a look around and said to him "Do you really need me?"
"Not really", he said.
So I fucked off. Pointless story and a complete waste of time. Still now you know how I felt on Saturday night. Not that it was a complete waste of time really, I saw Nick Helm who is rapidly becoming one of my favourite acts to watch and I met Steve Weiner who is a very nice man, a great act and, although not on a par with Stackridge, has a funny name. I then went off to an 80's charity night where I got in for free and drank free booze all night. I think I might have been the charity. Muki was doing an excellent job as DJ and like all nights where Muki invites me out I got completely pissed too quickly and ruined it for her. That is the last time I am EVER going to do that. How I've got away with it so many times is beyond me. I decided at about midnight that it was time to go home, even though Muki didn't want to, ordered a cab and fell asleep in it all the way home. Classy. Sorry, Muki. I'm a fucking idiot.
Anyway, if you like fucking idiots why not come along to Los Quattros Cvnts tomorrow and Wednesday night? Tomorrow we have Jason Manford and Andrew Collins as guests while on Wednesday we have Rich Fulcher. The shows start at 8pm at The Phoenix, Cavendish Square, just off Oxford Street and admission is just £6. It will be the event of the year.