Michael Who?

Well, everyone. Glasto 09 was totally wicked! The weather was incredible and the facilities were perfect for me. No queuing, clean-ish toilet and a proper bed to sleep in. Plus there were no hordes of out-of-touch with reality crusty smelly people who like to pain stuff on themselves, just perfect views of all the bands plus you could fast-forward through the tedious world music artists. There's such advantages to watching it on TV. Of course, if you were there then you would have missed terminal cunt Edith Bowman's tedious sycophancy on the BBC so you win.

The Michael Jackson being dead thing still seems to be going on but not in the way I thought it would. It's actually quite interesting. Sure, Michael Jackson fans are upset but I kind of thought that a lot more people would have pretended to care too like when Princess Diana died and everyone forgot how much they hated her before. Well done everyone for not losing your minds over this one. Sure, there were a lot of folks on Facebook that had their R.I.P. status updates like they actually knew him but besides that it just seems that the media are excited about it all but the public have largely got over it really quickly. The BBC went insane, really scraping the bottom of the barrel to find people to discuss the cultural impact of The Jackson. Uri Gellar was, of course, insane. Practically salivating at the thought of being on TV again even if it was to talk about a complete stranger who was best man at his wedding. Mica Paris prided herself in her own insanity when she said that Michael Jackson's death was more "important" than Princess Diana's. She didn't say who's it was more "trivial" than which is a shame. I would have liked that. "Michael Jackson's death", said popstar Mica Paris. "Is big. But, you know, when Howard Jones dies that's when we'll really start crying our eyes out".

My favourite really, really famous person to say boo-hoo to Michael Jackson on BBC news was definitely that man who used to be in 5 Star. He must have wondered what that noise was when his phone rang. Surely there was someone more trivial than him that the BBC could have scraped out of the desperate barrel? Was Owen Paul busy? Did Jim Diamond have other commitments? Fuck sake, I WAS FREE. Why did the BBC think that anyone, including the other members of 5 Star, would give a shitting shit what he had to say about Michael Jackson's contribution to popular culture? Fuck the guy from 5 Star. I want to know what Stephen Hawking thinks about it. Or God. Or, even better, Prince Philip.

I did a couple of Jackson jokes at gigs this weekend and they went down fine (one person booed one gag). In fact after one MJ gag a member of the audience shouted "I love you". I just don't think people connected to him the way the papers think. Still, he was quite good if you like that sort of thing but it's Monday now and that's the last I will talk about it.

King of Everything did the first preview in over 6 weeks last night at The Hob in Forest Hill in front of 12 people. They were 12 absolutely lovely people. We couldn't have asked for a better 12 people. The Apostles look like turds compared to our 12 people at The Hob. We were good too. Not perfect, far from it, but good. Still lots of work to do but that's part of the fun. Isn't it? Please come along to our next preview this sunday at The Funny Side of Covent Garden. We'll be singing. Don't let that put you off.

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