"Is there anything you actually like?"
Those were the words sent to me by a fan called David Ashe after I made my feelings clear about John Barrowman on this blog. I call David a fan simply because he hated me so much that referring to him as a fan might be the thing that tips him over the edge so I had to do it. Thanks for reading, David. I'm glad you're my fan.
But my fan, David, has a point. What do I actually like? Wispas, Jerk, Doctor Who, Morrissey and hating everything. Those are a few of my favourite things but is there anything better than Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door? I'm not sure that there is. I came home quite drunk last night and watched it, something I have done countless times before since it first aired on Channel 4 in 1987. 22 years on and I still find it funny. That says something for how good it is and says a lot about how simple I am.
Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door is simple: A pair of drunks try to drunkenly kill someone while drunk. It's a fantastic plot. So simple yet so effective yet so stupid. Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson run the DreamyTime Escort Agency and make money by drunkenly driving Japanese businessmen around London while pointing out the tourists spots. Everything they do is all part of life's long drinking binge including being paid by a gangster to "take out" Nicholas Parsons. It's a plainly stupid story of mistaken identity but there's enough violence, insane drinking and great lines to make this an absolute classic. Everyone in it is brilliant, including Nicholas Parsons. When Parsons delivers the line "I'd like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because never ever ever bloody anything ever" I giggle like a child. The joy of grown adults (alternative comedians, no less) revelling in their childishness still makes me happier than practically anything that's ever come since. Horne and Corden should be forced to watch this and then shot. All I'm saying is that if you haven't seen Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door then I'm jealous because you are in for such a treat. It's part of a 300 disc DVD box set of all The Comic Strip Presents...films. Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door is on disc 4. The other discs in the set make fine coasters for your coffee table.
Speaking of Mr. Jolly, yesterday I saw the first two episodes of Psychoville, a new BBC2 comedy series written by and starring Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton. It's fantastic. It's horrible and funny, just like Mr. Jolly, and, just like Mr. Jolly, has a character in it called Mr. Jolly. It has the same feel as League of Gentleman but pushes the eeriness much more than the gruesome horror (although there's plenty of that too). It made me laugh out loud numerous times which is incredible considering the amount of creepiness in it and me being a miserable bastard. You should watch it. You'll like it. I'd tell you when it was on but no-one at the screening seemed to know.
Jonathan Ross hates me. I don't know what I've done to upset him (I doubt that you can offend a man who's nearly 50 but makes phonecalls to the elderly telling them about who's been in their granddaughter) but upset him I have. He has actually blocked me from following him on Twitter. I really like Jonathan Ross but getting blocked by him has somehow made me quite proud. I think it's my insistence that his friend James Corden be shot dead that upsets him most but that's just a guess. Still, I see that he's just had a £3 million pay cut. That will happen to anyone else that thinks of blocking me.