Sunday, 15 August 2010


I'm eating, everyone. You can all relax because I have had food. David Bann's restaurant has gone from an Edinburgh treat to an Edinburgh essential for me this year. It's a great vegetarian restaurant and now that Suzie's Wholefood has gone it's pretty much my only choice for vegan food. Why didn't you fucking cunts go to Suzie's more often? You stupid, stupid cunts. I ended up having two lunches at David Bann's yesterday and I had a great meal at Mother of India too. Hopefully my poo will be returning to solid soon. What? I'm just saying.

All good with the shows and the whole trip is still stress-free. I'm so sorry. I'm not saying that nothing is getting on my nerves. There are some things getting on my nerves. It's just that for an hour a day screaming with Robin Ince it sort of all gets out of my system. Still only three Pointless Angers left and I should be back to normal. That'll be nice. Maybe I'll punch a mime or make an Avalon flyerer cry. I haven't made anyone cry this year so far. Shame.

The things that are getting on my nerves are:

The Assembly Rooms bar. I'm there nearly every night and I don't know why. It's a fucking bollock of a place. They Play Lily Allen's first album on a loop and when I asked a member of staff if they could possibly change the CD after listening to it three fucking times I was told that it was impossible. Of course, it's impossible. It's Edinburgh. NO! The Assembly Rooms bar has two CD's one for day and one for night. Lily Allen is the night CD. That was the reason that they couldn't play the other CD. Because it was dark outside. Yeah. Why not?

The Assembly Rooms Bar again: God, there are some right cunts in that fucking bar. On Friday night a man in a bowler hat practised a dance routine with a white faced woman in fishnets. They thought a bar, in front of other people, was the best spot for them to rehearse. The fucking egotistical pricks. If we wanted to see a cunt and a cunt we would have bought a ticket but, like absolutely everyone else, we didn't. Then Alan Cumming started harmonising songs with his friends at the bar. IN PUBLIC. You are such a penis, Nightcrawler. I'm glad I didn't pay £25 when I could find out that he's an embarrassing bellend for free. The only good thing I overheard in that bar was when I saw three people trying to comfort a crying actress who kept saying "He's a bastard. The cue is supposed to be BARK but he just says WOOF on purpose. He knows it throws me". That made me happy.

Nearly all bars in Edinburgh: Why do barstaff now have earpieces, mics and walkie-talkies? Is that how they're financing their way through MI5 school? By getting a bar job?

Cups that have the covers of Penguin books on them: Just fuck off.

Only three more Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire with Robin Ince left. Gutted: A Revenger's Musical is on until the end of the month. Last night's was fun. I pushed Margaret. I might do that again.

If on Twitter please use either the #pointlessanger or #GuttedMusical hashtags


Anonymous said...

Because Suzies was the worst kind of vegan food. Cafeteria style slop served in small portions at an extortionate price by miserable staff. And never any variation in vegan desserts.

Try Nile valley for wraps and sandwiches (just round the corner from where suzies was).

Try for something a little different from the usual Edinburgh vegetarian choices.

Oh, and the Auld Hoose does vegan pub grub.

Anonymous said...

The chat about alan cumming is hilarious. I read an interview with the massive penis recently where he talked of his love for Scotland, as he fucked off back to New York.

Kate said...

Is this the VIP bar you're talking about? Sounds like it.
People who work for Assembly used to be able to drink there until Kevin Bridges COMPLAINED.

What a cunt.

As if working for Assembly wasn't bad enough, they took away one of their only perks. Seriously. I know people who are working illegal 15 hour + fucking shifts at that place.