It's the most exciting day of the year. A day when all children should be silenced, tied up and shoved in a cupboard. Nothing should disturb today. It's too important. It's certainly not a day for children who might have questions or thoughts. Today is about us not them. Because today we see a brand new Doctor.
Matt Smith. I love Matt Smith. So far, he hasn't done a thing wrong. I mean, he's only said "GERONIMO!" once so it hasn't got annoying yet and he looked genuinely delighted to find himself in the TARDIS as it was exploding. Yeah, so far he's been excellent. None of that constantly loving himself or loving his hair or getting companions to fall in love with him and his hair. He's my favourite ever Doctor so far. Easily.
So when will it fuck up?
It won't. Matt Smith will be the first ever Doctor to never, ever fuck up. He's too good for that. Remember all that screwing his face up and wondering what he was doing at the end of the last episode? I mean, that was great. How can someone who can be so excellent for 20 seconds change for the worse over the course of 13 fourty-five minute long episodes? You're right, mate. He can't.
It will all fuck up though, right?
That's the thing. It won't. It can't. I mean look at what they're bringing back to the series. The Daleks! They never fail, The Daleks. Yeah, OK. Once. They failed once in Daleks In Manhattan. Oh, and Journeys End. And The Chase and Destiny Of The Daleks and Planet Of The Daleks and Remembrance Of The Daleks but they won't fuck it up again. They're well overdue being brilliant again. And The Weeping Statues from Blink are back! Remember them? I mean they were perfect. Absolutely perfect. Complete and utter perfection. Couldn't be touched. Shouldn't be touched. Why the fuck are they bringing them back? Leave them where they were, you stupid bastards! God, The Weeping Angels are going to come back and somehow they'll now all be really nice and thank The Doctor for saving their planet from the Big Twat or whatever pathetic alien that they've made up that needs to eat statues to live. Why couldn't they just leave The Weeping Angels where they were so we can look back and always like them. Like we could have done with The fucking Ood if that Russell Cunt Davies had just left them the fuck alone. Why not just bring fucking Rose back again? For the billionth time. Be nice to see her saying goodbye to The Doctor properly. AGAIN. Or Captain cunting Jack? Why doesn't the Doctor find him on the planet of The Bum or wherever the fuck he lives and just fuck him. Get it all fucking over with. You know what? Fuck them. It's a stupid programme anyway and I'm not watching it. I'm going to untie all the children in my cupboard and they can fucking watch this shit. They've ruined it. They've fucking ruined it.
I am 41.