Last night I met up with Dan Mersh and Paul Litchfield of sketch group The Trap. We got together to discuss future plans and to generally swap ideas and create something very new, very edgy to reveal to a gasping, awe-inspired audience in the new year. The main thing that we discussed though was our own, seperate sexual awakenings which all seemed incredibly similar. Basically, it turns out that before we knew what a sexual yearning was we all had sexual yearnings for Princess Ardala from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. She was the sexy, evil princess who Buck Rogers kept knocking back because Buck Rogers is a fucking idiot. I can't help but think that actor Gil Gerrard had many meetings with the writers to see if the scripts could go in a different direction and then he'd go home, alone, and scream at his own cock. We then went on to PROVE that Ridley Scott is shit. Not that we should ever judge people. That's not right. Life's not a popularity poll, you know.
The Smile UK's Favourite Comedian Poll is a popularity poll and it is ridiculous. Peter Kay, a fat cunt, was voted as the UK's number one favourite comedian with an incredible 63% of the votes. Incredible in as much as it proves how staggeringly dull and thick the useless human race is that anyone, ANYONE, could think of this talentless heap of ball-sweat as anything other than pitiful. I scanned the top 10 about 80 or 90 times and I'm not in there at all but then, like Peter Kay, I have absolutely no right to be. Strangely, Billy Connolly isn't in there at all because, like, he's NOTHING in the UK, right? Mind you, it's a ridiculous poll anyway, all polls are ridiculous. Dawn French came 5th! DAWN FUCKING FRENCH! Just to make things worse, Smile also ran another seperate poll to decide who was the UK's Least Favourite Comedian. In there is Victoria Wood, Harry Hill, Jimmy Carr, Paul Merton, Russell Brand and Alan Bennett who are all now officially not as funny as Peter Bastard Kay, a man who hasn't done anything in years except re-release his Being Fat in Blackpool DVD over and over again. Who else is in the least favourite poll? Who else is not as funny as that useless cunt? Spike Milligan. God, I hate the public. If you see any of the public today just punch them and say that was for Spike, then repeatedly kick them while singing Show Me The Way To Amarillo. You can make yourself just as furious as me by checking out the results here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7757262.stm
I stole that link from Chris and now I'd like to steal something from Robin Ince's blog. It is pretty funny. Enjoy.
Basically, it's safe to say, that not much happened yesterday. I bumped into Stephen Merchant. That was quite nice. He's still really lovely despite his crippling success and fame. Anyway, that was it.