An Evil Man From Austria.

I mean there are pricks are there are PRICKS. This guy I saw on a train in Vienna is not a prick. He is a PRICK.

You may have detected a fair bit of complaining about people in this blog but this guy will be despised by you and you've never even seen him. Luckily, like you, I am a Buddhist or some shit and didn't punch his face in despite that very thing being the only thought in my head. Muki and I got on the Vienna underground train to go to the zoo. I'd heard lots of good things about Vienna zoo and, as the pandas there had just had a cub, figured it was pretty ethical. Ethical. Funny word. Doesn't mean much to some people. Anyway, three youths got on the train and sat down. They looked about 16/17 years old. They were soon joined by a fourth youth who saw them get on, recognised them and rushed over to join them. He probably knew them from school or something. The big difference between him and the other three was that he had Downs Syndrome.

Feeling uncomfortable yet? You know something bad is going to happen, right? Well, it's worse than you think.

Two of the three youths started hiding their laughs behind their hat and bag but they had very good reason to find someone with Downs Syndrome funny. Firstly, he had an FBI pass in his wallet and that is funny no matter what and, secondly, they are teenagers. They are young and full of peer pressure and figuring out how to be cool and laughing at people with Downs Syndrome is the coolest thing in the world when you're young. Fuck taking crack and dying in a plane crash after your first platinum selling, iconic album. Just point and laugh at a spaz and you are as cool as Bono (you are. Really). But one of the youths didn't laugh. He talked to the guy and was incredibly friendly to him. He probably didn't want to because that will make him as cool as Adam Clayton but he did it. I liked this youth. He was obviously just a nice lad. Plus his phone was shit. My theory really is working out. Then I noticed the PRICK.

I first noticed the PRICK by way of his laughter. Even his laugh is a PRICK. The two youths hiding their faces had stopped laughing but I still heard laughing. That was a little confusing for a second but I looked up and across the train and sure enough there was the PRICK laughing away. It looked like he was laughing at the guy with Downs Syndrome but he couldn't be. I mean, he's in his 50's. He can't be openly laughing and pointing at a guy with Downs Syndrome. Can he?

He then got his camera out and took a photo of the guy with Downs Syndrome.

My brain was totally confused. Did I really just see what I thought I saw? As the man showed the photo to his family (who weren't interested) and laughed I pretty much realised that I really had just seen that. In real life. Then Muki said "Did you fucking see that?"

What a fucking PRICK. I made a vow that no matter what happens I won't start a fight with anyone on a train while I'm with Muki. It's written down somewhere. And that is a shame because it would have been beautiful to go over there and tell the fucking cunt how much I want to punch his ugly, useless, grinning face in and then have Muki translate it into German for me. I made the vow to not fight but there was nothing said about staring. A stare is a powerful thing it turns out.

I stared at him so blatantly that he had no choice but to make eye contact. He looked away and then back again several times just to check that I was actually staring at him. Soon his big grin dropped as did the penny. You could tell that he knew he'd been caught doing something that was horrible. For the rest of the journey (about 15 minutes) I barely blinked and even when he wasn't looking at me he was looking at me. Guilted.

The PRICK was also going to the zoo and we saw him by the rhino enclosure. I wanted to see the rhino but Muki couldn't bare to be in the same space as him. One push over the fence and she wouldn't have to be.

If you are Austrian and someone shows you their photos of Vienna zoo and you see a picture of a boy with Downs Syndrome and an FBI pass on a train please punch that person in the face for me. I don't like him.

www.michaellegge.info