Muki Kulhan.

I've been spending the last two days at Guys Hospital visiting Muki. I didn't really think I'd blog about this but I seem to be doing it. Earlier in the year she was diagnosed as having an infestation of carcinoids in her right lung and, although the tumours are benign, there are so many of them that they're attacking her blood stream and the lung had to be removed. She went in on wednesday for tests and on thursday morning when I visited her she seemed cheery, happy and relieved that this was all about to be over. Muki is a pretty much constantly cheery person anyway so that was no surprise even though if it had been me I'd have been crying. The next time I saw her, a few hours later after the operation, she was weak, tired and in pain. Then I did cry. I've always said that men should not cry under any circumstances because it looks ridiculous. I'll forgive a man for crying if one of his parents die but it has to be his Mum, if it's his Dad then he's a flaming whoopsie and should be bricked. Neil Cole once told me that Karen Koren made him cry because she pulled a gig on him. After laughing I should have kicked that spineless cunt to death. I just wasn't ready to see Muki like that. Don't get me wrong, she's very much getting better but for that moment seeing her in pain and whispering for me to help her I just felt completely useless. I doubt that anyone who knows Muki, seeing her not being like Muki, wouldn't feel pretty much the same.

But, like I say, she is getting better. Not only is she getting better but the way she's getting better is amazing. She's in the Critical Care Unit and all around her are men crying, moaning and screaming in pain, which is what I would do. When Muki feels pain she gives a look as if someone has pushed in to a queue in front of her. To say the least, she's very tough.

The operation was totally successful which is the greatest news you can recieve. She's mending well and should be out of the CCU tomorrow, if not tonight. She should be walking by then too. But, for now, they're just trying to control her pain and let her sleep. She finally fell asleep this afternoon while I was telling her about seeing Bennett Arron performing last night so, by the time I get back to the hospital, she should be slightly more alert. The other amazing thing about all this, besides Muki's handling of it, is the members of staff who are making such a personal effort to care for her. I find that quite shocking, really. Considering the "love me, love me" nature of stand up comedy, meeting people like them is a genuine guilty pleasure. It's a pleasure to meet them and their selflessness makes me feel like a cunt. I thank them greatly

Muki will be ready for visitors by the weekend and I'll keep friends updated but (maybe) not on this blog. This blog is about me getting all angry over fuck all and, by God, it should be kept that way. I lost my wallet containing £300 last night. Any other time this blog would be full of furious bile and childish swearing. I'm gigging tonight so normal service will resume tomorrow. Cheers.