Monday, 22 April 2013

Michael's Taste: Evil Dead (2013).

Being evil and dead seems to be very topical at the moment and, although we don't like to admit it, some good things did happen while Thatcher was throttling us in the 1980's. The Smiths, I snogged someone for a while and The Evil Dead are the main three things we all remember from that otherwise dreary decade. Well, The Smiths are never going to reform and I heard that girl took her own life in 1987 so that just leaves The Evil Dead. And it's BACK!

When I heard that Sam Raimi, the creator of the 1981 original Evil Dead, was producing a remake of his classic horror comedy, I lost my mind with excitement. I mean, I like SOME people but I really LOVE The Evil Dead. When you're growing up in the midst of Northern Ireland's background of hate and violence there was no better escape for a young teen than that of the 1980's video nasty boom. Basket Case, Reanimator and Cannibal Holocaust all took me under their protective wings when life just got too scary. That escape is still so appreciated. Those films are frightening, weird and, above all else, really funny. And as much as I got so incredibly excited about sneaking any of those three films into my house and then bunking off school the next day to watch them, it was always The Evil Dead that I completely adored. My parents went out for the night and I was delighted to tell my sister that I had The Evil Dead under my bed (she always suspected I did). We put it on and stopped it every two minutes so she could calm down and get her breath back and then we'd press play again and the laughs of joy and screams of terror began all over again. You see, that's really what reviewers should mean when they say a film is a "real rollercoaster ride". It's terrifying! Let me have another go!!

Of course, today it might not be that scary to some people but it's still brilliantly funny. That's why I feel really sorry for poor Mary Whitehouse. She died before she ever got the chance to laugh.

So, the brand new remake of The Evil Dead was released in America over a week ago and it went straight to number one in the box office. Of course it did. The Evil Dead and it's two excellent sequels (ED2 is even better) are loved so a remake was bound to be a hit. It was so frustrating to think that I had to wait for over a week before I'd get the chance to see it. One of my all time favourite films remade. With a huge budget. And proper glossy looking hot teens playing it seriously. And CGI special effects....and...Why am I going to see this?

Seriously. What was wrong with The Evil Dead? Was something that is perfect not good enough? It wasn't the lack of budget that was a problem, THAT was what was amazing about it. Creative minds conjuring genius with a couple of dollars. Why do these rich men do what they do? Raimi, Lucas, Spielberg. They look at what they once loved and in their ridiculous, selfish, soulless minds they think "I don't like what ageing has done to my once great love. I know what will cure MY hatred of looking at what I once considered to be great beauty: Plastic surgery".  Can't they see that ageing is part of the wonder of life? The Evil Dead has crows feet (it really does) and it doesn't get out as much as it did but look how brightly its eyes still shine. It's STILL the same film, Sam. It hasn't changed. YOU have. Good for you. You've got a new film, Sam. Well, your new film is a fucking idiot. Your friends can't relate to it and they hate it when you show up with it. They're still friends with your original.

What a fucking insult to your own talent. The Evil Dead had no budget, it got banned and it never won an Oscar. It has no right to be even remembered yet it completely won. The King's Speech did well three years ago. Or maybe it was two. Remember that? No, not really.

So, yesterday I got up early to go to the cinema to see the new Evil Dead. And the thought of actually seeing it made me sick. So, I made a really lovely coconut curry, poured a nice glass of wine and watched The Evil Dead 2 instead. By all means go to see The Evil Dead (2013) but you're a fucking idiot and that's my review.


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Fun Vacuum said...

In order to suck all the comedy out of this blog, I was to note that the new ED doesn't have any CGI in it for that same reason. Anyway, good blog.

Michael Legge said...

I just got told that, Thanks. At least I admitted I hadn't seen it before I got my facts wrong. I should be a professional reviewer.

Daniel said...

Great blog, I'm sick of filmmakers remaking classics because of how much they "love" the original. If you love it then leave it the fuck alone! It's like saying to a person, "I love you, but let me improve you by making a load of unnecessary changes." Or something.

Michael Legge said...

Thank you. To me it's like someone buying you a present and then every year they draw shit all over it.

Michael Legge said...

UPDATE: So, like the hypocrite I am, I went to see The Evil Dead (2013) yesterday and....I WAS RIGHT. It's bullshit. The worst part is that it's dull. Starts great and the ending isn't completely awful but pretty much everything in between is tedious. Everything you'd expect from shitty modern horror. And it DOES have CGI in it. Not much but it's there.

Rich said...

I almost hate to admit it but I actually quite enjoyed it (my wife wasn't so keen). The wonderfully bonkers original films are still there to watch anytime I want so I don't have a problem with remakes. The remake of The Fly is one of my all time favourite films.

Amber said...

This is cool!

Yacon Capsules said...

I was to note that the new ED doesn't have any CGI Yacon Capsules in it for that same reason. Anyway, good blog.

Anonymous said...

Loved the original , and the sequel was even better. I saw this remake and just cried: terrible movie , just a cash grab. oh well sometimes they get it right but i cant recall any off top right now authors page