Thursday, 31 January 2013

Your Tworoscope 3.

Hello. What has the week in store for you? Well, I have looked into the future and I bring you YOUR TWOROSCOPE....

ARIES: A neighbour brings some news about the fucking noise you make and the state of your bins. Perhaps romance?

TAURUS: That internal bleeding you've had will soon result in a sort of party where everyone cries. But what's in the big wooden present?

GEMINI: You're a dairy sign aligned with the planet Hoth. Love comes in the shape of a hammer and your lucky word is "Argh".

CANCER: You don't have time to go to Disneyland.

LEO: A successful business prostitute offers you a deal. Tiny groin pets means moving out and never seeing the kids again.

VIRGO: Not even a pity fuck, love.

LIBRA: There isn't a single fluid your body can make that you won't see today. In a bowl.

SCORPIO: Your best friend is racist, you're in serious debt and you haven't had it in months. Apparently Utopia is very good.


AQUARIUS: A new job prospect opens but you have to think of the family. Why are they hiring someone like you as a stripper?

PISCES: So what if you've just been dumped? Theres plenty more fish in the sea. On Monday, you're arrested for entering a salmon.

And that is Your Tworoscope for this week. Perhaps I will see you again?...IN THE FUTURE!

My blog is available on Facebook, Blogger and Tumblr. It's daily Monday to Friday. Some blogs will be long, some very short. If you're too lazy to read my blog it's also available as a podcast or you can subscribe to it on iTunes. All formats are free. That means if I'm doing a gig near you, please come and support it. I give you free stuff. That's fair, right?

This blog is also available on Kindle. It costs 99p a month and I do not recommend it at all. It looks nice though. 

1 comment:

Rich said...

Best thing ever.