Graham Norton Might Starve.

You know, you don't need to look at the Daily Mail website for very long before you despair for all humanity. If even a small percentage of people in Britain think or behave the way that the empty headed hysterics do on any given Daily Mail story's comments board then we are screwed. No matter what happens at any time in any place on the globe, be it famine or someone scratching their arse in front of a camera, their reaction is always the same: WELL, I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT.

I heard that our short-sighted and desperate to make a name for himself Culture Secretary, Jeremy fucking Hunt (Hey, I think he already has made a name for himself, know what I mean? A four-letter name, right, readers? That name I'm referring to is cunt. Geddit?), has declared that the government MIGHT cut the licence fee and therefore cut the amount of money the BBC gets to make it's programmes. This he claims is down to the BBC's "extraordinary and outrageous" waste. Now, I assume he means the World Cup and Wimbledon coverage, in which case I couldn't agree more. Sport is a hobby. It should NOT be on TV. Ever. In the same way that public funded cameras aren't pointing at me while I masturbate over Pyramids of Mars, likewise for everyone else's hobbies. But I appear to be in the minority. People who refuse to get up off their fat arses apparently love football and demand that it be on TV. To be fair, I don't think our Conservative government (let's not pretend anymore, eh?) are talking about the millions of our money wasted on wealthy people playing games. I'm also pretty sure they don't mean the quality of the drama that the BBC put out. I don't watch all of it but, you know, the BBC has got a pretty good record of high quality drama. Look at Doctor Who. I love Doctor Who. Maybe it's the comedy? I'd pretty much agree with the Tories IF that's what they were complaining about. I found it weird that people were so quick to save 6 Music yet no-one joined my Burn BBC3 To The Ground And Fuck The Ashes Facebook group (although I hear Mongrels is good). But again, the BBC made The Young Ones and Blackadder and I quite like Outnumbered, so I forgive them. If it's the daytime programming, then once again I'm on the side of the Tories. I don't understand the point of daytime TV. TV is something that either inspires you or something that you veg out to at the end of the day. Surely people have stuff to do during the day? No? I mean, we really don't NEED Cash In The Attic or Homes Under The Hammer or Shit I Found In My Garage or My Neighbours Are Hideously Ugly And I Can't Sell My House so maybe the BBC could save some of our money by not broadcasting during the day. Go back to Programmes For Schools & Colleges. I used to like watching that when I bunked off school. But that's not what's pissed the Tories off is it? It's the tedious myth that Jonathan Ross gets paid £500 Billion-a-year to shout at Andrew Sachs, isn't it?

I'm not an expert on the subject but surely Jonathan Ross does not get a yearly salary of £18 million or whatever it is. His production company does. That must include Friday Night With..., Film 2010 and his Radio 2 show. It's still a lot of money but surely that's a lot of hours of entertainment, no, and a fair few people are getting paid from that? I might be wrong, of course. But it's no major surprise that the Tories would attack the BBC as soon as they got in. Now they're smug, the Daily Mail is smug and it's readers are hysterical. GOOD! They say. WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE FORCED TO PAY FOR THIS LEFT-WING INSTITUTION ANYMORE! DEATH TO THE SOCIALIST REGIME!

I'm not sure what communist agenda these fucknuts see in The One Show but I just can't quite see the BBC as a big evil or drain on money. There will definitely be waste, of course. I don't know how cheap Snog, Marry, Avoid is but I do know that it doesn't need to be made and no-one ever needs to see it. There's a few quid saved right there. At the end of the day, the licence fee costs £145.50 a year. Is that about £2.50 a week? I think that's pretty good for what we get as far as public broadcasting goes. Not everyone can afford that, I know, but maybe that's what needs to be looked at. Plus if the BBC goes Michael McIntyre might go back to the clubs and I can't let that happen.

Maybe I should start a Facebook group. 6 Music was saved by a Facebook group and I think we're all very impressed by the amount of people in this country who actually support Raoul Moat. I have every faith that he will crawl out of his grave very soon. Well done, guys!

That reminds me. I really should pay my licence fee this week.

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