Tuesday, 7 July 2009

A Part Of Me.

I went to see Public Enemies last night, the new Michael Mann film about John Dillinger and other depression era gangsters. It was OK which is very dissappointing from the director of Heat and Johnny Depp. It should have been excellent but it was corny pretty much all the way through and it ended with an embarrassing bit of CGI. Yeah, 1930's CGI. The whole film looked like it was filmed on a video camera too. But it had something going for it and that thing is Johnny Depp, the man that all straight men would gladly fuck. I'm the straightest man ever in the history of the world but somehow I can't help but feel a vagina growing every time Johnny Depp is on the screen. And that isn't even gay so shut up. I also saw the first episode of Torchwood: Children of Earth and the series is better than ever. It's just crap instead of total shit. Is it really supposed to be for adults?

Which brings me neatly to me. In this blog I try to reveal a little something of myself so that the reader can discover a little of the many layers that make up the mystery that is Michael D. Legge. You know that I'm pissed off, angry, upset and gay for The Depp but did you know that I also have the weirdest thing on Earth growing on my foot? Well, I do.

My foot seems to yield a strange, hard, not to mention revolting, shell on my big toe that slowly grows over a period of about two years. This has happened since I was 18 years old and I had an operation on my toes to remove my ingrowing toenails that were cutting into my flesh and permanently making me bleed. Disgusted yet? Then read on.

As I say, the weird foot thing takes about two years to grow and then it.....just falls off. Today, it fell off. This is always a fun day for me and that two-year fucked up growth period can't come round fast enough. Anyway, I'm thinking of putting it on eBay. If someone was stupid enough to buy my Rex Boyd photo then selling a foot lump should be piss-easy.

If you don't feel like puking then please check out this lovely article that Matthew Crosby discovered. It's very funny and depressingly serious: http://www.viceland.com/wp/2009/07/babes-of-the-bnp/

This is what grew on my foot.

Just to give it some scale, here it is next to a cyberman.



Sapna B said...

I feel vomitus.

I know it's a noun, but I'm using it as both adjective and noun.

Treb said...

Love the blog but not the growth. That's sick, and not in a good way.

Gilder said...

The BNP article is one part funny one part painfully depressing. The questions were unfairly loaded considering how unbelievably dim the girls were but they weren't really helping themselves. "I probably am a bit racist mind" - dear me.