Fake.

I am nothing if not up to the minute when it comes to pop culture. My finger is always on the media pulse at all times. That's why I got to see the Katie Price/Piers Morgan a full four days after everyone else. I hadn't even heard of it's existence until tuesday. Don't get me wrong, it's not really the sort of thing I would have the slightest interest in but you would thing that something with that magnitude of trivia would be all over the newspapers. It was and somehow I missed it. Maybe the pointless can be filtered out or maybe, like Katie Price herself, I "don't read all the papers".

That was the level of reveal in this interview between a cunt and a cunt. Who would have thought that that this IQ-free, talking fuck-hole occassionally passed on The Guardian? Her big drawing of a face just sat there throughout the hour and a half of utter bordom spouting shit about how she was in love with her Pete and now, five fucking minutes later, she isn't. THAT for a fucking hour and a half. With that dump of dirty washing Morgan nodding and occassionally saying really controversial things like "Well, Kate, you were wearing a bra and an arrow pointing to your minge at a christening, maybe Pete was upset?". Never once did he ask the important questions like "Are you embarrassed ever?", "Why do you do this, seriously?" and "You're rich, why don't you just fuck off?"

This is all very trivial. Of course it is. It's supposed to be. She is trivial. Something to do when we're bored. But then, all of a sudden, the interview turned to something horrible. During a trip to America Katie Price had a miscarriage and is deeply feeling the loss of this as well as the breakdown of her marriage. So much so that she started crying during the interview. I am relieved that her new tear-ducts work but really is this the kind of thing that a sane person uses as an exclusive on TV so soon after it happened? Isn't selling the loss of your child just, I don't know, a bit fucking immoral? That doesn't really upset me as much as the cunt of a TV channel who think that it's fine to buy that and stick it on telly to gloat at how the other half suffer. If you don't count Horne & Corden, I rarely get offended but that is just plain sick. Remember when the nation became appalled at that blonde forgettable idiot selling her wedding for a Flake? She seems pretty decent all of a sudden.

Not that it matters but how is she supposed to come out of this looking good? Her next move has to be to get married again. Really quickly. To someone all those messes like just as much as they like her. She needs to marry Kerry Katona or Primark or something. It's not going to be easy for Katie Price but she needs something big to stay on top. Jade was so lucky, eh?

I'm in York right now. I'm about to go to my friend Ronie's wedding. Should be a very romantic, lovely piss-up. Then it's off to Latitude on Friday were King of Everything will be performing as part of Robin Ince's Book Club. Come and see us.

www.twitter.com/michaellegge