Wonderwhy?

I think I'm in love with my foot lump. I've started staring at it for long periods of time and I get panicy if I think I've lost it (which happens about 12 times a day). Mainly, I love the disgust that the foot lump brings to other people even if they haven't seen it. A neighbour, who I had no idea read this blog, looked like he was going to puke when we bumped into each other yesterday. After exchanging a few pleasantries he said "That thing's in your pocket, isn't it?". He didn't want to look at it though.

I don't think I could put it on eBay now. It's more a part of me now that it's not an actual part of me.

There really hasn't been much to report on the last few weeks of gigs. All have been good without being great but at least none of them have been awful. Which is very selfish because writing about a shit gig could really help me out here. Even the journey's to and from gigs have been arsehole-free. Until last night.

Now that Blur are back Oasis fans are furious at all times again. Although neither band have ever been cool, Blur are cutting edge compared to Oasis due to some of their songs sounding different from some of their other songs, they have lyrics that aren't just about being drunk or people who "shine" and Blur don't spend all their time tripping over their own dragging knuckles, their own dragging foreheads or their own ex-bandmates. But did you know about the Oasis Vs. Thunder rivalry? Me neither.

I vaguely remember Thunder but can't think of a single thing they've done. They obviously played a gig in London last night because I saw lots of 40-something and 50-something Thunder T-Shirt owners on the tube. There were also some on the last train back to Ladywell last night. They seemed very jolly. They obviously had a great night. Then three Oasis fans got on board.

A man and woman both wearing Oasis t-shirts and another man in civilian clothing sat near the Thunder fans and, more importantly, me. It wasn't long before one of the Oasis fans (the one who who lives on Alcohol & Alcohol) struck up a chat with the ageing metallers. "Who are Thunder?", he asked.

"They're the best band in the world", a woman replied. "We saw them tonight".

"Oasis are the best band in the world".

"Fair enough. Thunder are the best heavy metal band then".

"Heavy metal is shit".

Then there was silence. Oasis idiot had sworn at the seemingly pleasant woman and none of the other Thunder fans seemed to like that. Oasis idiot then started to sing what I presume was an Oasis song. "Let's all get drunk and then we can sheeeeee-iiiiiiiiiiiine". Something like that. His twat friends joined in but mercifully cut the song short. He then went back to chatting to Thunder lady.

"Why don't you like Oasis? Why don't you like good bands?" (This man was in his 30's by the way).

"Thunder are a good band".

"They're shit".

"You've never even heard of them".

To which he replied "Noel Gallagher is a genius".

No, he's not. He's a very lucky thief. "You need to fucking listen to Oasis. Get into a decent band".

And that was the last straw. A male Thunder fan (in his early 50's I'm guessing) said "Can you stop talking to us now, please?".

The Oasis fans just laughed and started singing an Oasis song that I recognised. From my Beatles records. It was also a song that Thunder Man didn't enjoy, a bit like everyone else sitting near by. The train then stopped at Waterloo.

Thunder Man stood up. He was a big fella. He pointed at the Oasis idiot and said "Off. Now. Go on". Oasis idiot argued but his slightly more sober friends realised that Oasis could never win in a war against Thunder and dragged him off the train. They looked sad and wet as the train pulled away. To be honest, they looked sad and wet when they were on the train anyway.

I was happy that Thunder Man had stood up for Thunder Lady but they still had time to impress me further before I got off at Ladywell. They were obviously upset by Oasis idiot and his friends singing so they starting singing Thunder songs. Luckily, they're really nice people who didn't want to disturb the rest of the train so they sang the songs really quietly. It's hard to sing things like "Run to me in the night 'cos I'm on fi-aaaaaaaah" really quietly but they managed it. Well done, Thunder.

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